The game I pitched is called What The Fuck, Why!?!? and I chose this for many reasons: it’s my response to messed up behaviors that people do, it’s my response to this world in general, and specifically it’s how I feel right about now since I’m having a difficult time processing my trauma.
*Content warning: discussion of multiple forms of abuse and assault.*
I chose to make a text-based game that isn’t really meant to be played because I need another way to report what I have survived. I mean that my game is meant for people who don’t seem to believe me, and/ or undersand my traumatic experiences and how they affect me. Too many times I’ve just wanted to hand someone a file with all of my trauma documented in it and just say, “here, read this, becaues I’m not reliving this again for you,” too many times these people have been friends and family–people I’m forced to be in contact with for various reasons like being stuck seeing them in common spaces. The gameplay is going to be the player flipping though the most traumatic experiences I’ve had. I plan to make a calming procedural rhetoric sub-game within the text-based game that can be played in between the reports of the trauma as a breather. It’ll be me completing Puddle.
After my presentation Prof. LeMieux asked if I’m sure I wanna do this and I’ve thought about this more and I’m less sure about if I want to continue working on this game right now because it has the potential to seriously negatively impact my life if I feel further invalidated by the people who will be playing and critiquing my game. I hadn’t really thought about how people critiquing my game until now, I just really really want to make it, so I think I might just do it on my own when the time feels right and make another game. I’m thinking about just working on completing the procedural rhetoric game I started, or the procedural generation game that I didn’t really get anywhere with 2 weeks ago.